And now, for my final trick…

January 16, 2009

magicianSometimes I wished I was a PAP minister. Getting paid millions for pulling rabbits out of my arse seems to be a pretty good deal. The Straits Times Insight section did an in-depth interview with Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng today (16 Jan 09). Watching him try to defend the Home Team from criticisms over a series of bungles in 2008 that included Mas Selamat’s escape, the attempted escape of two detainees awaiting bail and the immigration lapse in Changi Airport that allowed a man to travel to Vietnam with his son’s passport, was like watching a third rate magician in a cheap cape perform parlor tricks at a children’s party.


The Great Magical Maestro Wong was in great form today. For his first trick, he made accountability and responsibility disappear.


The Great Magical Maestro Wong told the reporter that the cases of the court detainees and passport lapse were very different. He was quoted as saying that the detainees were just awaiting bail and would have walked out of their cells if someone posted their bail; only they chose to make a break for it. No big deal. As for the passport lapse, well, it was the troublemaking son who called the media to publicise the incident! No one would have known about it if not for that little son of a breach.


For his second trick the Great Magical Maestro Wong created a new word with a wave of his wand to describe the passport lapse – “misclearance”. Try it, it’s a fun word. The planes that hit the World Trade Centre Towers were on a “misflight”; Mas Selamat’s escape was a “misdetainment”; the Singapore Flyer did a “misrotation”. Hey boss, remember that million dollar account I was supposed to handle? Well, there’s been a “miswhoops”. 


Anyway, The Great Magical Maestro Wong’s point was that by comparing all these incidents to Mas Selamat’s escape was grossly unfair to the Home Team. They are all very different. Accountability; now you see it, now you don’t.


And in a final sleight of hand, The Great Magical Maestro Wong managed to make Mdm Voot Choon Yin re-appear in Singapore. Mdm Voot, a 73 year old Singaporean suffering from mild dementia, had visited Malaysia and lost her passport and bag. However, thanks to the dark arts of the Home Team at the Causeway she still managed to pass through the Singapore and Malaysian customs without identification. This trick was reported in the Straits Times the same day the interview with Wong was published. The magic just doesn’t stop.  


But of course, The Great Magical Maestro Wong had already performed his greatest trick last year. Confronted with Mas Selamat’s breakout, the most dangerous terrorist in Singapore, The Great Magical Maestro Wong managed to hang on to his job. I don’t think Houdini’s the world’s greatest escape artist anymore. And it ain’t Mas Selamat either.





2 Responses to “And now, for my final trick…”

  1. sushibar Says:


  2. Wang Cunt Sing Says:

    Just looking at the magician’s bewildered look makes me sick. He is about as intellectual as Mr. GWB.

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